Am I alone in attempting to reason with my dog?
Recently I was walking my dog when I realized I was doing just that. I heard myself say, “Tiki (that’s his name) we are going for a walk. We are not sniffing every flower and piece of debris. We are walking today, we are not stopping to mark everything that comes out of the ground. If you are not going to walk nicely then next time you can stay home. You do like walks don’t you?” Of course I realize how absurd this is. And was relieved when I saw no one was outside to overhear this one sided conversation. It’s really quite bizarre, he is not going to respond and say “Oh ok I will stop sniffing everything and walk now. I didn’t realize we were walking and not sniffing today.” (spoken in a dog voice of course.) At which time I of course would point out, I specifically said, Tiki do you want to go for a walk?
Once I noticed this behavior (in myself, not the dog) I had to explore it further. Have I always done this? Do I talk to him unknowingly at other times of the day? Do other people do this?
Upon further review of my behavior I realize I only talk to my dog when I am trying to make him do something. To coerce or convince him. For example when we are walking (on leash) and a car passes, Tiki moves from the side of the road towards the middle. I often will say to Tiki. “What are you doing? Can’t you see a car is coming? Why would you go towards it? Please stay next to me.” I have also noticed I do not speak to him throughout the day, or praise him in full sentences. I have never caught myself saying, “Hey Tiki great job chasing that squirrel today, you chased him right up the tree. And then you were so persistent you sniffed around and around that tree for a good 10 minutes trying to solve the mystery of the missing squirrel.” Don’t get me wrong I often say things like, good boy and good sit. I also tell him “I will be back” when I am leaving, and I always greet him when I return. I just do not normally chat with him.
Continuing my reflection I remembered an incident when I was in college (way back machine in gear). We had a cat, my roommates and I. This cat was mischievous, bordering on evil. Ok so Mitchell was pretty evil. The first time I took him to the vet the car ride getting there was fine. I dropped him off and went home. When the time came to pick him up, I went into the office and the receptionist said, we cannot get Mitchell out of the kennel, can you go back and get him for us? Of course I reply I understand he probably is just scared of strangers and will gladly come out for me..the one who feeds him. Back I go, I open the door and see he is in the far back of the kennel. In retrospect this should have been a red flag, however this was my first experience as a cat owner. So naturally I reach my hand in to pull him out and the loudest most unworldly noise/hiss comes from the kennel along with a claw that draws blood on my arm. I gasp and yell “Mitchell what are you doing!” I spoke as if he was a toddler who had just kicked a stranger in the shins for no apparent reason. My face immediately turned scarlet as I realized much of the staff and the other clients had heard me. It took a bit to get that evil cat out of the kennel and into the carrier. I seem to recall lecturing him the entire ride home. I was mortified. From that point on anytime we took him to the vet, the minute he got into that office he began hissing. So we’d sit in the waiting room with what sounded like a giant snake in our cat carrier.
After all this reflection and observation I ‘ve concluded, it’s just in my nature to try to use my words to change a behavior. Although I have certainly been known to talk to animals and even an occasional big oak tree. Generally it is along the lines of Good morning Robin or Hello Mr Chipmunk. I admit that certain animals I greet with less enthusiasm and sometimes a mild squeak or shriek. But in general I am not a person who chats with my pets. However for whatever reason I still try to change my pets behavior through reasoning. Even as I realize how ridiculously unrealistic this is. Just yesterday while walking Tiki, I tried to convince him to go further than he wanted on our walk. He just turned his back and sat down without budging and no amount of my talking would make him move. I suppose I will never learn.
This brings me to my last question, am I alone in this behavior? Do you talk to your pets? Have you ever caught yourself trying to reason with them? I would love to hear your stories please share.
