With Christmas upon us, I was thinking about the ultimate Christmas gift. Sure there are a lot of expensive gifts you can give and many people like giving experiences, as do I. However I was thinking along the terms of the impossible gift. A gift you can neither give nor receive, like the gift of more time or visiting the past or teleporting. (to each his own) It made me think about what impossible gift I would like if given the chance. I would want to be able to go back in time and relive moments. Like in Mary Poppins when they jump into the chalk drawing. I always found that to be so amazing and magical. I want to be able to jump into moments from my life. Not to change or “fix” them but to just feel and touch them again. The moments that first popped into my head when I was following this thought train were moments with my kids. Maybe that is because there is a part of me that wishes I had been more in the moment when they were happening. As any parent knows it is hard enough raising people and keeping them alive and well, being “present” is difficult. My mother once told me ” the days are long and the years are short.” That is so true in parenting. Maybe I am just feeling a little nostalgic at years end. However if I could choose what to experience again it would not be the big moments, birthdays, graduation, wedding and the birth of my children…who wants to relive giving birth anyway?
I want to touch the moments that were just part of the day to day life.
I’d go back to stomping in puddles with my kids and holding their hands when we are playing in the waves on the beach. I would bundle up and visit the moment I taught my kids the rules of sledding…yes there are rules. #1 YOU sled down the hill, YOU bring the sled up the hill, rule #2 no walking up the sled track. And rule #3 when you can’t feel your toes it’s time to come in for hot cocoa. If I could just smell that baby smell again, no not the dirty diaper smell, the good smell. I would relive that Christmas the kids stopped opening parents to play with the ones they had already gotten. Or the first time the kids tried to catch the water at the jumping fountains in Disney World. I would want to hear them singing and performing “plays” for me and rewatch yet another fashion show. I would love to hear the little footsteps of them running down the stairs on Easter morning.
Countless memories I would love to experience again with my kids. Continuing on this train of thought, I got thinking about other moments in my life.
I would want to jump into one of the days my brothers and I made the entire second floor of our house into a town for our matchbox cars, or feel the suction of the mud on our boots when we got stuck playing in the mud of the early spring fields. Or maybe a lazy day playing at the cottage going from river to swing set, and back again. I think I would even stuff myself in the backseat of the car between my brothers on one of our family road trips. I’d remember the feeling of being so close and trying to get so far away from my all too rambunctious brothers.
I’d love to relive one of the “adventures” my teenage best friend and I took on days we were bored. Maybe I’d even jump into a not so wonderful time like one of the seemingly many days my friends and I were stranded by our old duct taped together cars. This of course is the pre cell phone era, when we had to figure it out for ourselves. I would go back to my tiny apartment and wait for my future husband to pick me up for a date.
There are so many moments, dancing with my friends, playing with my dogs, remembering the rewarding feeling of teamwork by playing a volleyball game with my team, or another card game with my Grandma. I’d take in the smell and taste of drinking coffee and chatting with my Mom or eating ice cream with my Grandpa. Maybe I’d jump in on one of the many times my Dad taught me how to do something.
Thinking through all these moments has been a reliving of them in many ways.
Sure I cannot really touch the same things or taste the hot cocoa but I can feel the feels and that is a gift in itself. Looking back has made me realize I have a lot to be thankful for. I would still love to hold that little hand in mine again. But for now I will just try to be more present more often.
Where will your mind take you?
Wishing you a safe and Happy Holiday!
Missy
Capture the Magic Vacations
My mind took me back to the many summers of playing cards at my grandparents lake house. Thank you for the gift of remembering and may we all try to be more present during and after this pandemic. Emma’s asked me last night, “Why do we have to live during this time of Covid?” I answered, “It may be so that we all appreciate each other more and to spend more time with our family and not be so busy running here and there.” Of course it won’t be a time we want to necessarily travel back to in so many ways, but it will provide a pause to be thankful for who we have in our lives and to make many memories.
Thank you for sharing your precious memory. Also yes it’s certainly a tough time, but we are living through history and hopefully gaining some perspective along the way.